A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) ***

Wes Craven's A Nightmare on Elm Street, released in 1984, changed the rules of slasher movies by adding two things, dreams and a killer with personality. This added much need flavor to a genre that was already running out of steam. Now we get the remake, a movie that really doesn't start until the second half.

Jackie Earle Haley plays Freddy Krueger this time around and his performance is good. In the scenes showing Freddy's past he comes off as a nice, quiet guy. But as progress, it becomes clear that Freddy did do the things that the parents of Springwood accused him of. Even though the flashbacks are quick, these were some of my favorite scenes because we get to see Freddy before he started haunting people's dreams.

I stated earlier that this movie really gets going in the second half. The first 45 minutes or so have no structure. Its just one killing after another. While this is fine, it gets to the movie off to a confusing start. Once everything falls into place, however, the movie is very good.

Another complaint that I have, and I have noticed this from other fans, is that this movie doesn't really live up to its potential. The filmmakers had a chance to really do something with this story, but seem more concerned with giving us cool visuals instead of a coherent storyline. This causes some confusion, as some characters are introduced, only to be killed off in the next scene.

Don't get me wrong. I liked the movie. It's just that I wished that more was done with the movie. The movie plays, for a good amount of the running time, as a series of punchlines without any setup. If the filmmakers had worked on the setups, then the kills would have been that much cooler. As it stands, A Nightmare on Elm Street isn't as bad as Friday the 13th, but isn't nearly as good as Halloween.

Nightmare on Elm Street Tops the Box Office

This past weekend, the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street topped the box office with $32 million. This is a lot less than the remake of Friday the 13th did a little more than a year ago. I have not seen the movie yet (I plan on seeing it this week), but I can say that I am a little disappointed that more people didn't show up.

I think the reason for this lies in a few places. The first is that a lot of people have been turned off by the constant borage of remakes that have been hitting theaters over the last few years. I believe that people would rather see a sequel than see the original updated.

The second reason is the movie has been getting bad reviews. The reviews are nowhere near as bad as Friday the 13th, but there have been some terrible reviews. But most of the reviews are saying how disappointing the movie is. Whereas Friday the 13th was just plain bad, reviewers are saying that A Nightmare on Elm Street has so much potential but doesn't use it.

The third reason lies in Freddy himself. While Jason and Michael Myers are just as big icon-wise as Freddy, they could be played by almost anybody. You get a big guy and slap a mask on him and you have yourself a Jason or a Michael Myers. Freddy is different. He is a character that has a life to him. In all of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, Freddy was played by Robert Englund, who brought a lot to the character. He IS Freddy. I'm not trying to bash Jackie Earle Haley, who is a great actor, but I don't think a lot of people are ready for a different Freddy.

That being said, A Nightmare on Elm Street should be able to turn a tidy profit and a sequel is already being planned. Hopefully I'll enjoy the movie and pray that it isn't the trainwreck that Friday the 13th was.

Human Centipede ***

Never in my life did I think that I would see a movie like this. Well, I mean, a movie like this that isn't a send-up of 50's sci-fi movies. This is an ugly movie. A movie that you kick yourself for watching, but can't look away from.

The movie centers around American girls who are on a road trip in Germany. Their car breaks down and they find shelter at the only house they can find. Upon waking up they find themselves being taken captive by a man who is a retired surgeon. This man, who has specialized in separating siamese twins, informs that girls that he has kidnapped them so he can perform a twisted experiment. He plans on combining the two girls with a man, who has also been kidnapped, to create the world's first human centipede.

This concept could have gone in a very lightly, jokey direction but this movie is deadly serious. Of course the idea is absurd, but the director, Tom Six, makes sure that the movie can be believable. The thought that a mad doctor would kidnap people only to make them into a human centipede is the kind of idea that gets you thinking, and, for the most part, our questions are answered.

There are only two reasons to watch this movie. The first is the obvious attraction of the title and description of the movie. After viewing the trailer, we know exactly what we are going to get and the movie delivers. The second reason is for the performance of Dieter Laser as the doctor. He is very creepy and plays the determination of getting the procedure done with a sly wink. In terms of horror movie performances, Laser's is the best of the year so far.

Human Centipede is a movie strictly for the geek show crowd. Anybody going into this movie thinking that it is going to be a fun time will be shocked and disturbed. This is one of the most disturbing movies I have seen in a long time and the fact that there is going to be a sequel disturbs me even more.

Random Notes

-Don't forget that the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street is hitting theaters today. I have to work all weekend so I won't be able get to the theater over the weekend. I do plan on seeing it early next week and I will post my review sometime next week.

-Also, if you live in New York, Human Centipede starts its limited run on today. However, if you live outside of New York, the movie will be available through On Demand, so you will be able to see it there.

-Speaking of On Demand, Magnolia will debuting George A. Romero's Survival of the Dead on. The movie is a decent flick that is worth checking out.

-Looks like Psycho will be hitting blu-ray this year. Amazon has put up a page for it. There is no release date, but this is a step in the right direction. Here's hoping that they match the picture and sound with a good amount of extras. The 2-disc Legacy Series is an outstanding set and if they were to put the Psycho Legacy documentary on there, well, we might just have a perfect package.

Roger Ebert and Horror Movies

At the beginning of the year I wrote a piece entitled "Roger Ebert and The Lovely Bones", in which I spoke about how I felt that Ebert's review was wrong and incorrect. Today I am writing in response to his negative review to the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street.

As I have stated before, I am an admirer of Roger Ebert's. Reading his reviews growing up changed the way that I looked at movies. Sometimes we agree and sometimes we don't. But, for the most part, he has given us solid reasons for liking or not liking a movie.

Over the past year or so, however, he has reviewed movies that he has disliked, by giving very weird reasons. His dislike for The Lovely Bones has been well documented here so I won't go into those reasons again. My main complaint is his review for A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Ebert's review speaks of many horror cliches and entries in his "move glossary", but his review reads like a cliche of his reviews on most horror movies. It is clear that Ebert does not like horror movie, so my question is: Why review them? Why does Ebert, who can choose any movie he wants to review, take time out of his day to review movies in a genre he hates?

There are many probable answers to these questions, many of which he will probably agree with. One, he wants to be the best critic out there by giving his readers a taste of everything. This is likely the best answer, but he fails on this end. He doesn't seek out horror movies and, by doing so, defeats the reason of being the best critic.

The second answer is that he probably likes horror movie, but refuses to give them a pass because it might ruin his credibility. He has given positive reviews to many horror movies, but only the ones that are smart. It seems that he doesn't like the fun ones.

The third answer, and the one that I am going with, is that he looks down on horror movies. Ebert speaks volumes on what are perceived as "classics". He has a series of essays entitled "Great Movies", but has only put two horror moves into this category, The Bride of Frankenstein and Psycho. And while those two are among the best horror movies ever made, it seems that there is a void.

Whether or not A Nightmare on Elm Street is a good movie is not the point of this rant. The validity of his horror reviews is. Horror fans are just as smart as "normal" movie fans and his dislike for the genre and us fans is something that needs to be examined. I don't take any of his horror reviews seriously and this is why I am writing this. I just hope that other horror fans agree with me.

The Crazies Hitting dvd and blu-ray in June

Anchor Bay has announced that June 29th, 2010 is the date that they will release The Crazies on dvd and blu-ray. The movie, directed by Breck Eisner, is a remake of the George A. Romero movie of the same name. That movie is available from Blue Underground. The remake made $39 million at the box office.

Special Features:
-Audio Commentary with Director Breck Eisner
-Behind the Scenes with Director Breck Eisner
-Paranormal Pandemics
-The George A. Romero Template
-Make-up Mastermind: Rob Hall in Action
-The Crazies Motion Comic:
   -Episode 1
   -Episode 2
-Visual Effects in Motion
-Teaser Trailer
-Three theatrical trailers
-Ten TV Spots
-The Crazies Motion Comic Trailer
-Storyboards: Building a Scene
-Behind-the-scenes Photo Gallery
-Easter Egg
-Digital Copy (blu-ray)

You can preorder The Crazies from Amazon by clicking on the pictures above. Remember, everything that you order through this blog helps keep this blog running.

Missing in Action: Grindhouse (theatrical version)

This week's Missing in Action is about Grindhouse. The movies have been released separately in unrated versions, but we have never seen the entire experience on dvd. Well, not in this country at least.

Japan saw a 6-disc set of Grindhouse that included everything that we saw stateside and included the entire Grindhouse movie that was shown in theaters. This is something that bugs me and I will probably be talking about this further in another Missing in Action segment, but why do other countries get better editions of American movies. You would think that we would get them, but we don't. Anyway, the only release that has the 3-hour version of Grindhouse is Japan and that release is out of print.

So where is our theatrical version? Robert Rodriguez tweeted that he was working on a 15-minute Cooking School for the Grindhouse release, but that was some time ago. The Weinstein Company need to get on the ball with this release.

So what are we missing? As a whole, we are missing the theater experience. Grindhouse tried to recapture a time in American cinema that few people remember and that was the problem with the movie. Few people even knew what the term "grindhouse" meant. But the movie was an experience. It transported us back to when double features were all the rage.

There is another problem with Grindhouseand it is the second half. Death Proof is a terrible movie. It's a horror movie that has no horror in it. Tarantino tried to mix a car movie with a slasher movie and it just doesn't work. Tarantino is a self proclaimed cult movie nut and yet he makes a movie that they wouldn't have made in the 70's. There is a saying that goes: just because you know the notes doesn't mean you can play the music. Death Proof is a perfect example of this. All the notes are there, but the music doesn't sound the same.

For all of Grindhouse's flaws, there are things that are brilliant. Planet Terror is one of Robert Rodriguez's best movie. This movie looks and feels like a 70's movie, minus the girl with a gun for a leg. And the trailers are spot on.

I own the Japanese set and I love it, but this movie screams to be released here in the states. Even if they were to release the movie barebones, fans would still buy it up just to have to Grindhouse experience at home. The movie has aired on Starz as a complete movie and it has been shown in HD as well, so you know that The Weinstein Company already has the tools to release this and yet, they haven't.